Vivek Dhairya Ashray - The ultimate guide to mental wellbeing of a Pushtimargiya Vaishnava

विवेकधैर्ये सततं रक्षणीये तथाश्रयः

विवेकस्तु हरिः सर्वं निजेच्छातः करिष्यति ।१।

Vivekadhairya satataṃ rakṣaṇīye tathāśrayaḥ

vivekastu hariḥ sarvaṃ nijecchātaḥ kariṣyati (1)

Vivek and Dhairya, along with Ashray should always be protected. 'Vivek' is knowing that everything is happening according to Hari’s wish.

A healthy mind leads to a healthy body. A healthy body, along with a healthy mind together make a great life.

Vivek and Dhairya are the two aspects of our mind that, when taken care of, enable us to live a rich life with positive experiences. To live a good life, a healthy state of mind should be actively sought after.

Vivek is the ability to intelligently identify our right place and power in this world and act accordingly. Shri Krishna is with us — within us & above us. Understanding this bigger picture will enable us to smoothly sail towards a joyful life and avoid pitfalls.

Not understanding this will leave you open to the possibility of trying to sail your boat against the wind and end up exhausted, at the same spot, gaining nothing — a waste of a precious human life. 

प्रार्थिते वा ततः किं स्यात्‌ स्वाम्यभिप्रायसंशयात्‌

सर्वत्र तस्य सर्वं हि सर्वसामर्थ्यमेव च ।२।

prārthite vā tataḥ kim syāt svāmyabhiprāyasanśayāt

sarvatra tasya sarvaṃ hi sarvasāmarthyameva ca (2)

What good will prayer do? Except for doubting what your Svāmi has decided for you. Everything belongs to Him and He is capable of all actions. (Praying is futile)

Wanting things from Shri Krishna is futile. Krishna is within us too, as Paramātmā. He knows what we want but gives us only what He wants to give us. We must recognise our roles as actors in a grand play of the highest level which is orchestrated by none other than Shri Krishna Himself. Just as an actor cannot ask the writer to change the script of his film, we cannot ask Shri Krishna to change our story.

Shri Krishna is the creator of this world, he is capable of everything and exerts influence over His entire creation, thus we must understand that our situation is His explicit plan for us and praying will really not help.

So do we not have a free will? The next line answers,

अभिमानश्च संत्याज्यः स्वाम्यधीनत्व भावनात्‌

Abhimānaśca santyājyaḥ svāmyadhīnatva bhāvanāt

Renounce your independent ego, and acknowledge your dependence on Krishna. 

The above-mentioned principle of ‘Not asking for things' is not entirely true. If the actor suggests something which goes along nicely with the writer’s vision, the writer may incorporate the changes happily. But for such suggestions to come to your mind, you need to first understand the mind of the writer very nicely.

The right understanding, the right vision, and the right overall sense of the grand story are essential to being able to ask for something which we can actually get. This understanding of ‘being a part of His vision’ is essential. We must not get involved in our own lives and forget we are in His creation. The sense of non-dependence and non-attachment towards Shri Krishna and His Leela must be renounced. The sense of dependence and attachment towards Shri Krishna’s Leela must be acknowledged again and again to live a life in sync with our destiny.

विशेषतश्चेदाज्ञा स्याद्  अन्तः करणगोचरः ।३।

तदा विशेषगत्यादि भाव्यं भिन्नं तु दैहिकात्‌

viśeṣataśchedāgyā syād antaḥ karaṇagocaraḥ (3)

Tadā viśeṣagatyādi bhāvyaṃ bhinnaṃ tu daihikāt

If a special command manifests from within our antaḥkaraṇa, understand it as non-material (alaukik). 

When this sense of connection towards Shri Krishna is truly acknowledged, special thoughts, orders, and decisions may manifest deep in your heart. When they happen, you must thoroughly check if they are not just illusions of the mind. If they help fulfil petty (bodily or worldly) gains, they are certainly not divine. If they are for Shri Krishna’s joy, they are certainly divine (Bhagvadāgyā) and you must work hard to fulfil them as a sevā.

आपद्गत्यादिकार्येषु हठस्त्याज्यश्च सर्वथा ।४।

āpadgatyādikāryeṣu haṭhastyājyaśca sarvathā (4)

Do not be stubborn in special times which require change.

While living a life with the above-mentioned Vivek, never become stubborn. Always remain flexible and open to change. Krishna’s leela is not static. His story for you and demands from you will keep changing. Do not resist such change. Adapt and continue to live a fulfilling life as per the dynamic nature of time and situation.

अनाग्रहश्च सर्वत्र धर्माधर्माग्रदर्शनम्‌

विवेकोsयं समाख्यातो धैर्यं तु विनिरूप्यते ।५।

Anāgrahaśca sarvatra dharmādharmāgradarshanaṃ

viveko’yaṃ samākhyāto dhairyaṃ tu vinirūpyate (5)

Do not willingly involve yourself in everything. Thus after summing up Vivek, now I start with Dhairya.

In this constantly changing world, you will come across infinite actions & attractions. Do not get overly excited about everything. Moderation is the key here. Good or bad, right or wrong, are all made-up rules which humanity uses to maintain worldly law & order. Understand your connection with the divinity is out-worldly even if through this very worldly world.

 — — —

त्रिदुःखसहनं धैर्यमामृतेः सर्वतः सदा

तक्रवद्देहवद्भाव्यं जडवद्गोपभार्यवत्‌ 

Triduhkhasahanam dhairyamāmrutehe sarvataha sadaha

takravaddehavadbhavyam jaḍvadgopabharyavat

Enduring the three types of sorrows is Dhairya; Like buttermilk, Jadbharat & the Gopis of Vraja.

The three sorrows here are:

Adhidaivik — Divine

Adhibhautik — Bodily (Physical)

Adhyatmik — Desires, ātman-related, spiritual

(Alternatively, they may also be kāla (time), karma (action) & svabhāva (inherent qualities) related; or kāyik (bodily), mānasik (mental) or vāchik (vocal). However for the sake of this tikā we will move forward with the first and the most widely accepted interpretation, while knowing that all the three ways of categorising hold true as per the ‘Grand Theory of Causation’ by Vallabhācārya)

Adhibhautik are physical sufferings which we are subjected to due to the limitations of our material body. Our body is made up of physical particles and subject to laws of physics and thus, is at the nature’s mercy. This vulnerability towards natural elements exposes us towards ādhibhautik pain and suffering. Eg. Injuries, physical pain.

Adhyatmic sorrows are pains associated with the desires of our mind. Our mind houses our consciousness, which constantly searches for indulgences to play around with. These often manifest as our hobbies, tastes, desires and sometimes, if the desire is strong enough, even our identity. Pains occurred due to unfulfilled desires of the consciousness are classified as ādhyātmic in nature. Eg. Fear, Sadness, Unfulfilled desires, Longing, mental pain.

Ādhidaivik sorrows are those directed towards us by Krishna’s wish, in order to test our resolve, or due to our karmic debt (prārabdhas). They are directly related to Krishna and may manifest as sorrows in seva and leela. Like unfulfilled desires in Krishna’s seva and manoraths, periods of pain and separation from Krishna (virah) etc. Eg. Bad Luck, unexplainable or unpredictable pain, krishna-related pain.

These three types of sorrows or vulnerabilities can affect us negatively, pushing us towards a disturbed state of mind. These make our life and seva difficult. 

These pains stay with us for as long as we live. In this life, and in countless lives after this, these pains stay with us forever. Thus, it is best to learn to endure these three types of pain to live a happy life.

Here Mahaprabhu Shri Vallabhacharyaji uses ‘Buttermilk’, ‘Jadabharat’ and 'the Gopis of Vraja’ as examples of the three pains.

When butter is removed from buttermilk, all that remains is just water. Now if you spill this water by mistake, you will not be really bothered by it. This is because you know that the excess water holds nothing of value and the precious butter has already been separated. Such is also the nature of the pains linked to our bodies. The relations established by our mortal bodies are like the excess water.

All things in our lives where Krishna’s association is removed are excess and unimportant. The lack of butter, which is symbolic for Krishna-tattva, leaves our sans-Krishna bodily problems stale and inconsequential in the longer run. Keeping this structure in mind will make it easy for us to endure all problems of the Adhibhautik or material nature.

Jadbharatji is a character mentioned in Shrimad Bhagavat Mahapuran. He had completely occupied his mind and senses in Krishna. This made his mind and senses immune to the vulnerability of his surroundings. In his state of constant divine ecstasy, which only Krishna’s association can provide, his mind and senses were simply not interested in the mundane joys of the worldly nature. This made him indifferent to all worldly pleasures and suffering. He remained unaffected to the pleasures and pains of the body. His body desired no sensory gratification whatsoever. Thus, remembering, Jadbharat and his state of mind will help us endure all kinds of Ādhyātmic or emotional pains.

Gopabhāryā’s are the wives of the Gopa’s of Vraj. These wives had amorous desires of worldly nature (illegitimate love) towards Krishna. This had earned them negative karma (prārabdha). This prarabdha manifested itself during Krishna’s call to Rāsa. When He invited the Gopis, they couldn’t leave their houses and be with Krishna. The pain and suffering of separation from their beloved was so intense at that moment that they felt they had stayed in the torturous lowest hell for thousands of years. This kind of pain is Adhidaivik Pain.

After experiencing such an intense pain, all their negative karma debt was cleared. It was only after this clearance of the negative prārabdha, did Krishna enter their minds and lovingly embraced them. Upon receiving the embrace by Krishna, the ecstatic state they experienced was more than staying in the highest heaven for thousands of years. After experiencing this intense pleasure, they had used up all their positive prārabdha.

After going through this process of releasing all their negative and positive prārabdhas, the Gopis became free of all Karmic baggage. Now, nothing stood between them and Krishna. They had now become a ‘Nirguṇa’ devotee of Krishna.

We must also see ourselves in these Gopis places and wait for our prārabdhas to clear out. 

During Krishna’s call to rāsa, there were some Gopis which were ‘Nirguṇa’. Unlike the ‘Gopabhāryā’ wives, they were they were able to come to Krishna. However, when they met Krishna for rāsa, He asked them to go back. The Gopis were ‘Nirguna’ and thus beyond the karmic cycle and the material world. They listened to what Krishna said, knowing full well that Krishna’s tone meant that their desires have now been quashed, they absorbed this pain and calmly replied according to the principals of bhaktimārga and with great patience.

Such direct pain as a result of unfulfilled desires in seva and Leela are Adhidaivik or divine pains which we must also be prepared to endure.

प्रतीकारो यदृ‌च्छातः सिद्धश्चेन्नाग्रही भवेत्‌

भार्यादीनां तथान्येषामसतश्चाक्रमं सहेत्‌

Pratīkāro yadṛcchātaḥ siddhaśchennāgrahī bhavet

Bhāryādinām tathānyeṣāmasataśchākramaṃ sahet

If these painful situations go away through Krishna’s wish, do not insist upon suffering them. Endure through the wrongdoings of close family and friends. 

It is advised earlier, to endure all pains which you come across. However, if a painful situation resolves itself through Krishna’s wish, you should not insist on bearing the pain. This caveat put in by Shri Vallabhacharya ensures that Pushtimargiya ‘Dhairya’ is not interpreted as Sadism. Be completely ready to bear suffering if it arises but do not actively seek suffering in life and do not adapt yourself to enjoy pain and suffering. Do not desensitise yourself to pain.

Endure the pains from your spouse, family and all those who are dependant on you. Even if someone has wronged you, do not abandon anyone who is dependant on you.

There are three ways in which your family may react to your seva. They may be supportive, obstructive or indifferent. In case they are supportive, welcome them in the seva wholeheartedly. However, if they are indifferent or against seva, do not harbour any grudges or negativity towards them. Any resulting friction in the home will be blamed on your seva. Seva will not be possible in such a case and you yourself will be responsible for getting into such a situation. 

स्वयमिन्द्रियकार्याणि कायवाङ्‌मनसा त्यजेत्‌

अशूरेणापि कर्तव्यं स्वस्यासामर्थ्यभावनात्‌

Svayamindriyakāryaṇi kayavangamanasā tyajet

ashureṇāpi kartavyam svasyāmarthyabhāvnāt

Renounce all sensory pleasures by body, voice and mind. If unable to do so, dwell on your inability.

Be very mindful of the source of your sensory gratifications. Our senses are easily distracted. One odd look at a movie trailer draws us to watch it. One random conversation with a friend makes us go and check out that new restaurant in town. Soon enough, our senses are overloaded with these worldly pleasures and we get lost in the worldly cycle of sensory gratification, which leads us nowhere as in reality, it is just others wanting our time and money and approval.

Always be mindful of the true purpose of your senses. The senses do not have a mind of their own and cannot distinguish between a subject which is good or bad for you. The onset of free-to-play games like candy crush and ludo (which got super popular during city-wide lockdowns in the 2020 pandemic) and dark patterns in advertising are good examples of how our senses are drawn in, deeper and deeper into the game or the app and the application starts taking up more and more of our time. Soon we get addicted to them and we end up spending unhealthy amounts of our time in such games which we later regret. Sometimes we even spend real money for in-game bonuses and rewards. Many casinos do not keep clocks to prevent their customers from knowing the amount of time they have been inside. This makes customers gamble for longer times. The same is true for binge watching TV shows overnight which we later regret when they spoil our mornings. In all such situations, self restraint is the key. While we must not stop seeking pleasures and joy in life, we must, always, with great awareness, make sure they are always aligned with our life-goals.

Life your life with the following in mind,

“I eat to live, I don’t live to eat

I play to live, I don’t live to play

I work to live, I don’t live to work

But,

I don’t serve Krishna to live, I live, only to serve Krishna”

If you are too weak-willed to impose such restraints in your life, you must be prepared to bear the pains which will come with misguided habits of indulging in temporary sensory gratifications.

अशक्ये हरिरेवास्ति सर्वमाश्रयतोभवेत्‌

एतत्सहनमत्रोक्त्तमाश्रयोsतो निरूपय्ते

Ashakye harirevāsti sarvamāshrayattoabhavet

Etatsahanamatroktamashrayoato nirupyate

In times of helplessness, always take refuge under Krishna. No goal is unachievable when taken up by a surrendered mind.

There may be times where you are unable to hold up the principals of Vivek and Dhairya which we have learned so far. In such situations, take refuge under Krishna. He is the ultimate power which can manage your pleasures and pains. When things really go out of hand, we often seek help from someone higher up. Be it our mothers and fathers as children or our gurus and mentors as adults. This is a natural process, but these figures may only be able to help in their particular domain. Krishna’s reality of Bhagawan-Parmatma-Brahma means that nothing is beyond Krishna’s domain, surrendering to Him is the ideal solution for all situations in life which are beyond your ability to endure.

Having explained the concept of Dahirya, we will now understand Āshraya.

ऐहिके पारलोके च सर्वथा शरणं हरिः

दुःखहानौ तथा पापे भये कामाद्यपूरणे

भक्तद्रोहे भक्त्यभावे भक्तैश्‍चातिक्रमे कृते

अशक्ये वा सुशक्ये वा सर्वथा शरणं हरिः

Aihike pārloke cha sarvatha sharaṇam harih

Duḥkhahānau tathā pāpe bhaye kāmādyapūraṇe

Bhaktadrohe Bhaktyabhāve bhaktaiśchātikrame krute

Ashakye vā sushakye vā sarvathā sharaṇam hariḥ

Krishna is our refuge everywhere, within this world and beyond. In pain, in fault, in fear, in unfulfilled desires, in friction with others, in lack of devotion, in being disrespected by others and in all feasible and infeasible situations, Krishna is the only refuge.

Here, we develop the idea of ‘Sole refuge'

Krishna is our refuge not only in this current life but also in all our lives beyond and in other worlds. Every world has its own way of functioning and the nature of divinity also keeps changing. Different iterations of our universe govern our lives. In the current instance of the universe (yuga), Brahma is the incarnate of the primordial force of creation (Satva), Vishnu is the incarnate of the primordial force of sustenance (Raja), and Shiva is the incarnate of the primordial force of destruction (Tama). (Refer Shloka 10, Siddhant Muktavali for more details)

In every instance of the world, these primordial forces behave differently and their assigned incarnates (the divinity; Brahma, Vishnu, Shivas) also keep changing. 

However, Krishna, being the Parabrahman, is above the three primordial forces and remains the only constant in the otherwise volatile state of His creation. Thus, even in lives and worlds beyond the current one, Krishna’s refuge is the highest.

Within this world and this life, seek Krishna’s refuge in situations where you are in pain, in fear, in unfulfilled desires, in friction with others, in lack of devotion, in being disrespected by others and in all other probable and improbable situations. Remembering your relation with him will make you immune to the undesirable situations of the world.

अहङ्कार कृते चैव पोष्यपोषणरक्षणे

पोष्यातिक्रमणे चैव तथान्तेवास्यतिक्रमे

अलौकिक मनः सिद्धौ सर्वार्थे शरणं हरिः

एवं चित्ते सदा भाव्यं वाचा च परिकीर्तयेत्‌

Ahaṅkār krute chaiva poṣhapoṣhaṇarakshaṇe

poshyāti kramaṇe chaiva tathanyevāsyatikrame

Alaukika manaḥ siddhau sarvārthe śaraṇaṃ hariḥ

evaṃ citte sadā bhāvyaṃ vāca ca parikīrtayet

In pride, in protecting dependants, in being wronged by dependants, in being wronged by disciples, in achieving a divine mindset, and in all other desires of the mind, Krishna is the only refuge.

Do not seek refuge of Krishna only when things go out of our hand. We tend to remember Krishna only when we are in trouble. Once things get back under our control, we go on with our merry lives and forget about our surrendered state of mind. This kind of approach is not the Pushtimargiya way. Even when things are going on smoothly, even in merry times, a state of constant refuge under Krishna must be maintained by the mind. We must not divide our surrender for good and bad times. The mental state of surrender must be a constant reality of our lives.

अन्यस्य भजनं तत्र स्वतो गमनमेव च

प्रार्थनाकार्य मात्रेsपि ततोsन्यत्र विवर्जयेत्‌

Anyasya bhajanaṃ tatra svato gamanameva ca

prārthanākārya mātreapi tatoanyatra vivarjayet

Do not engage in worshipping of any other ‘deva’s proactively, pray only to your refuge — Krishna. Do not seek refuge anywhere else.

Do not worship or follow any other ‘deva’. Restrain from participating in activities (prayers, worship, etc) which nurture devotion towards other devas. This is because taking refuge of them will erase your state of refuge (āshray) with Krishna.

Recognising and respecting a ‘deva’ as a ‘deva’ and surrendering towards them are two different things. We, as adherents of Vallabhācārya, recognise the divinity in all devas and always respect them for what they are. (To understand the concept of who are ‘devas’ refer the glossary at the end) However, we must never commit the mistake of mixing up respect with devotion. We are surrendered to Krishna and Krishna only. Within Krishna comes everything and there is simply no need to go to anyone else. 

(Krishnat param nāsti daivaṃ, vastutaḥ doṣavarjitaṃ)

अविश्वासो न कर्तव्यः सर्वथा बाधकस्तु सः

ब्रह्मास्त्रचातकौ भाव्यौ प्राप्तं सेवेत निर्ममः

Avishvaso na kartavyah sarvatha badhakastu sah

brahmāstracātkau bhāvyau prāptam sevet nirmamah

Never loose faith. Loosing faith is absolutely devastating to your state of āshray. The steadfastness of faith must be learned from ‘chātaka’ and brahmāstra’. Serve with whatever you can acquire, without pride.

When you start crossing the road, you should not stop in the middle. This is the first thing you learn in traffic safety. 

Many have a tendency of starting tasks but not finishing them. 

Loosing faith in the ways and teachings of Vallabhācārya is the biggest blunder you can make when it comes to achieving a state of āshray. When you loose faith in one system, you take up faith in other systems. In doing this, you destroy your acknowledgement of ṣaraṇāgati or ‘surrender’ to Krishna. To ensure the sturdiness of your faith, take inspiration from the ‘cātaka’ (or the cockoo bird) which patiently waits for the the right rains and drinks only from fresh drops.

The second inspiration comes from a famous tail in Rāmāyaṇa when Hanumānaji came face to face with Rāvaṇa’s son Indrajīt.

Indrajīta attacked Hanumānaji with a Brahmāstra, the most powerful weapon in the world, however, Indrajīta did not have full faith in the weapons power and decided to use additional chains to tie up Hanumānaji. This display of mistrust in the divine weapon, made Hanumāna free himself from it, never to be captured again.

यथाकथञ्चित्कार्याणि कुर्यादुच्चावचान्यपि

किंवा प्रोक्तेन बहुना शरणं भावयेद्धरिम्

Yathakathanchitkāryāṇi kuryaducchāvachānyapi

kiṁva proktena bahunā sharaṇam bhāvyeddharim

(A rudimentary understanding of)

All big and small works should be done as per capability. What else do I say, maintain the state of surrender. 

Having understood the nature of āshray, which is strong, undivided, and total. You may ask, then what’s the point in living our life as we know it then. Our life is full of big and small distractions which make us challenge our āshray all the time. In our worldly life, we are often focused on all kinds of random activities and we do interact with all kinds of people, do all kinds of questionable actions. 

In that cases, we would think, the ideal Bhakta is supposed to avoid them the sansara. However, here, Vallabhācārya asks us to continue the big and small works of our lives. This is purely for the sake of the stability of yourself and those around you. These mundane actions of life must still be lived whilst maintaining a strong sense of belonging towards Krishna, Vallabhācārya reminds.

एवमाश्रयणं प्रोक्तं सर्वेषां सर्वदा हितम्‌

कलौ भक्त्यादिमार्गाहि दु:साध्या इति मे मतिः

Evamāshrayaṇam proktam sarveshām sarvadā hitam

kalau bhaktyādimārgāhi duhsādhyā iti me matiḥ

This is ‘āshray’, which is always beneficial to all. Especially, in this Kaliyuga, where, I believe, Bhakti and other such are philosophies have become difficult to live by.

Thus we conclude āshray. Here, Mahaprabhu Shri Vallabhācārya is stressing the importance of living a lifestyle with āshray in mind. It is beneficial to all, single or married, householder or ascetic, young or old, bhakta or not. This idea of āshray as a universal ideology for all and is further cemented by a statement from Shri Krishna himself, ‘sarvadharmānparityajya, māmekaṃ ṣaraṇam vraja’. Here Krishna is asking Arjun to surrender all other duties and ideologies such as Saṃkhya Yoga, Yoga (Pataṃjali’s āṣtāṃga yoga), Karma Yoga, Gyāna Yoga, Bhakti Yoga, etc. which Krishna himself has previously described in the Bhagvad Gitā  and simply live a life of āshray. 

Mahaprabhuji concludes by reminding us that all the other ways of mokṣa have become difficult to live a fulfilled life due to the nature of Kaliyuga. Thus indeed, āshray is the only refuge which will work for all. 

- A short Commentary on Vivek-Dhairya-Ashray of Vallabhacharya by Goswami Vatsalbava